Doubt
Psalm 13
How long, O God? Why is this happening to me God? Why are there wars, suicide, hate, violence and death?
These are the kinds of questions the Psalmist wanted God to answer. The reading gives us an impression of a court room with God on the witness stand. We could add our own items to the list, couldn’t we – those things that don’t make sense in a just world – those things that shouldn’t happen with a loving God in control – those questions that shake us at the core. If you had God on the witness stand right now, to what questions would you like to have answers?
Most people get stuck in the questioning. Notice that this didn’t happen with the Psalmist. Somehow the Psalmist understood that the Presence of God was near even in the questions. How did that happen? What did it take to get from Point A to Point C like this – to be able to truthfully lament the evil and brokenness of the world and still maintain faith? I have a hunch that part of our problem is our internal reasoning systems. We might assume that this is an innate part of every person but the reality is that we learn to construct those inner worlds – those thought processes and reasoning – through watching others, learning from past experiences and from what others in authority teach us.
Let me give you an example of what happens when our inner reasoning process is unconsciously flawed. If I were to ask you, “What is the opposite of good?” (bad/evil) The opposite of truth is? (lie/false) The opposite of right is? (wrong) What is the opposite of faith? Our first response might be “doubt.” I would suggest – and I believe the Psalmist suggests this as well – that the opposite of faith is certainty. Doubt is actually the first baby step on a journey of faith. Doubt gets us pondering a direction – considering our options – weighing our possibilities – even when we don’t know which direction has a certain outcome.
The best definition of faith we have in the Bible is in Hebrews 11, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” To live by faith is to live without certainty. It doesn’t mean we don’t have assurance or conviction. It does mean that we have to live with a measure of not knowing. Oh my goodness! Nobody likes that idea! We pride ourselves on living in the information age. We should be able to know anything. We live in a time where medical science has tamed many diseases that once ravaged our planet. If we have an ache now, we expect a pill to fix it. We are part of a world where the self is elevated above all else. If a relationship is damaged, we trade it in for a newer model. Living by faith is different from these… and it’s difficult.
The Psalmist didn’t like living by faith either. “How long, O Yahweh?” How long before I know the answers? How long before I have an end to my pain? The Psalmist asked the same kind of questions we ask. We want certainty. God asks us to live by faith.
The decision the Psalmist made was that even in the midst of my unknowns – even when I don’t have all the answers – even when I can’t know complete certainty – “I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to Yahweh because God has dealt bountifully with me.” (v. 5-6) That is living by faith. Think of it this way: Faith is a decision – a decision to begin a journey from doubt to wholeness (salvation). We can never see the destination clearly so we have to trust God to get us there.
Sources:
www.homileticsonline.com The People v. God. June 2008.