Gray is the New Black
John 20
Good morning All God’s Children. I’m happy to be home where the women are strong, the men are good looking and the children are all above average. I even missed the winter. Where else but in Minnesota could there be a weatherman named Sven Sungaard? Once when I missed home I actually logged on to KARE11’s website and clicked on the link to hear Sven speak Norwegian. I doubted he could but there it is.
Now that I’ve witnessed him speaking Norwegian- I believe. Doubt, belief, fear and peace are the themes found in our scripture reading this morning. You could even say that “reasonable” doubt is also a theme.
There’s a story told about a defendant who was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no dead body. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we looked, but your client didn't."
Sometimes doubt is the most reasonable response. There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking. This morning I’d like us to engage our doubts, taking our lead from the disciple known as Thomas—doubting Thomas. I think Thomas got a raw deal. Thomas’s story is about much more than the demands of a skeptic. Sometimes the demand to see is not doubt. Often it is love.
It is curious that Thomas was NOT one of the disciples hiding out, afraid of Jesus’ enemies? Maybe Thomas went off quietly to grieve by himself? We don’t know. We only know that when the disciples told him they had seen Jesus alive, Thomas tells them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” Did you notice Jesus’ response? Instead of scolding (always our worst fear!), he invites Thomas to examine his wounds; an invitation of incredible intimacy. And then what happens? Thomas doesn’t literally touch the wounds; he witnesses them and in doing so he believes.When we doubt it is often because we are afraid. In the case of the disciples and especially Thomas, to believe that Jesus was alive after witnessing his death would mean that everything previously believed about the certainty of death was now out the window. They were still trying to make sense of stinky Lazarus walking again. Talk about an invitation to new understanding and new growth! What do you doubt? What do you fear? I doubt that our economy is going to stabilize anytime soon—meaning-- I am afraid that I won’t be prepared adequately with this new economic world that is evolving. I doubt I’ll ever be thin again--meaning I’m afraid my health will suffer. I doubt that the snow is really over with-meaning I fear that my basement will flood again. I doubt that the democrats are going to get out of this thing gracefully—meaning I don’t know who to vote for! My partner Kathy doubts that her parents will ever get over the fact that she is married to a woman-meaning she fears that they will not reconcile before they die. Whatever we doubt, whatever we fear—these are our wounds.
Many of us doubted that God would love us if we faced the truths about ourselves. So many of us fought believing the theological junk food fed to us by other churches. Meaning-we knew what it meant to bare the wounds of a society that sought our destruction.
Think of that as you look again at today’s scripture. When the disciples were afraid for their very lives, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ Peace and love have the power to erase fear. Then as a living witness to peace and love, he showed the disciples his wounds, showing them that the cross was as real as the resurrection.
Christ’s invitation to witness his wounds extends also to you and me. In fact it’s the heart of discipleship. Wherever there is a wound, Christ calls us to feel and heal the wound. Wherever people are hurting, oppressed or marginalized, Christ invites us to put our finger into their pain so we can feel it, know it and heal it. And then we can be a part of the healing.
That’s why Jesus said, “As the Creator sent me, so I send YOU” We are sent into the world to help and that’s the hardest thing of all. It hurts to witness hurt. We want to look the other way. God hard wired us to care and that ain’t for the frail of heart.
The Humane Society has been running a series of television messages showing abandoned and abused animals. Whenever I see them I cannot let go of the image. I want to help by adopting every one of them. Taking this a step further, we could also say that hate crime sensitivity came about largely when the world had to viscerally deal with the haunting image of Matthew Shepard beaten and left to die on a fence in a field.
I love that this sanctuary now flies the banner “blessed to be a blessing” It is more than a fund raising tagline. It’s a way of living and looking at the world. It’s our response to the living Christ. Many of us know the pain of grief, disappointment, separation, divorce, addiction, depression or abandonment. For us Thomas reminds us that we are continually invited to know first hand that our God is as close as our cry.
This story tells us that Jesus will come to just one disciple, on purpose, to help and to deliver PEACE. Getting real about what he could not yet believe was Thomas’s cry to believe.
Even Mother Theresa had doubts and the media crucified her. After she died, the letters she had sent to spiritual directors during her life were published against her wishes. This is like having your diary published. Critics wrote that these letters paint an agonized picture of a woman who was tormented by her feelings of doubt. No! She was getting real about her deepest questions, those things that aren’t black and white but are gray, expressing them and engaging God to grow her faith. She knew that closure isn’t always possible or necessary. So ask yourself…How else do we grow and participate in the evolution of our faith?
Does great doubtcancel out great faith? Buddhist Sevan Ross has a wonderful way of looking at this paradox. He says “Great Faith and Great Doubt are two ends of a spiritual walking stick. We grip one end with the grasp given to us by our faith and great determination. We poke into the underbrush in the dark on our spiritual journey. This act is real spiritual practice - gripping the Faith end and poking ahead with the Doubt end of the stick. If we have no Faith, we have no Doubt. If we have no Determination, we never pick up the stick in the first place”. End quote.
It is more spiritually satisfying to sit with the questions of life, walking with God for truth. For us progressive Christians, gray is the new black. That’s the journey we’re on. I know you get that because everyone in this room has challenged what was given you in order to find the possibility of new answers. That’s how you found your way to an MCC. You dared to wonder and to question.
Now, Jesus urges us to probe our wounds and his. We’re urged to probe the wound of war, of oppression, of injustice, of homophobia, spiritual violence, addiction, and depression.
And when we do, Jesus is saying, be at home with me. Don't be afraid to touch me and don’t be afraid to let me touch you. Don’t be afraid to bless and be blessed by each other.
It is an invitation to come close, close enough to see the wounds, feel his risen presence and experience Easter hope.
There were many doubts raised when I accepted the call to go to Austin, TX and serve as their interim senior pastor. I had my doubts. You had your doubts. Please accept my apology for any pain experienced because of my leaving.
Afterwards when I heard that the board was not going to replace me until the following spring or later, it took my breath away, replaced by the mustard seed hope that maybe I could still come home. Maybe God had a plan that could serve all needs. She did. I’m now told that the board and Pastor Paul are encouraged by your response to my potential return. I leave it in God’s hands.
Amen.